communication skills – Dr. Daniele Trevisani – Formazione Aziendale, Ricerca, Coaching

An Analyst’s Mind

trevisani@studiotrevisani.it — Fri, 09 Apr 2021 15:57:32 +0000

© Article translated from the book “Strategic Selling: Psicologia e Comunicazione per la Vendita Consulenziale e le Negoziazioni Complesse” (Strategic Selling: Psychology and Communication for Consulting Sales and Complex Negotiations) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or any other language, or seek Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching, Mentoring and Consulting, please feel free to contact the Website on Intercultural Negotiation

__________

Today’s article is about the importance – for negotiators – of having an analyst’s mind to observe, analyse and understand what happens around them, grasping all meanings behind words and gestures.

The world of sales and marketing is made up of choices.

As Mick notes, “the macro–marketing system is, to a large extent, the function of many micro marketing decisions made every day.”

And, for every micro-decision, our mind must be prepared to carry out quick, sometimes even immediate, analyses.

Complex selling can be considered as the function of many micro and macro behavioural and strategic skills (such as the ability to conduct a conversation, observe non-verbal details, doing scenario analysis, planning and creating projects and reports, etc.).

The analyst’s mind does not stop at deskwork, but can be found in every contact, in every handshake, in every meeting and in every analysis.

Nothing is overlooked.

It also includes macro skills, such as the ability to carry out socio-economic analyses, to design complex plans, to process data, to carry out an entire scenario analysis and to set up a strategy.

No one can expect to conclude deals or create complex projects without having, or developing, a deep analytical attitude or an “analyst’s mind“.

An analyst always asks himself “why”. He notices signs and symptoms, develops hypotheses, looks for more information, researches, wants to understand.

This attitude, called strategic empathy, includes different levels of understanding, a strategic attention to the client:

behavioural empathy (understanding all behaviours of the company/client, with whom we want to work and interact),

cognitive empathy (understanding how other people think),

emotional empathy (understanding other people’s emotional state),

relational empathy (understanding others’ relationships network).

Let’s think about the opposite:

we do not understand others’ behaviours and we cannot grasp their meaning,
we do not understand the reasons of what is happening,
we do not understand what role the other party is playing,
we do not understand how other people think and we believe that they think exactly as we want them to think according to our logic.

Let’s also imagine what it means to carry the burden of emotional insensitivity, the inability to grasp emotional nuances or to understand if the person we are dealing with is sad or happy.

Let’s imagine what it means to be indifferent to how and why the person in front of us reacts to a choice – or to some aspects of the project we are developing – in a certain way, instead of another, without being able to understand what worries him/her, or what interests him/her.

And again, let’s think about the problem of cultural gaffes that can offend a foreign executive, whose position is extremely important for the success of the deal.

Another major issue concerns the insensitivity towards the decision-making framework, the power relationships, the power matrix, the risk of not understanding whether we are dealing with a real decision maker or with a simple emissary, an influencer, or with someone who has no power. Wasting time is not pleasant for anyone.

the lack of an analyst’s mind can lead us to lose sight of people and corporate roles that we should involve in projects, even though we are completely neglecting them, and, even worse, to take inter-relationships for granted, for example we do not understand that there is a gravity centre (key concepts and people) in every purchase, in every decision.

A large part of complex negotiations consists in “attracting” decision-making gravity centres, and in the ability to manage personal meetings and develop human relationships.

In this difficult world, only knowledgeable people and people who have an “analyst’s mind” can penetrate hostile systems, identifying priorities and the “moves sequence” that can help them shift the decision-making balance in their favour.

People who have an analyst’s mind ask the following questions: “Why are you saying this?”, “Why are you saying this now?”, “What lies behind this question?”, “Why is Dr. X… not present at this meeting, while he was present at the other one? “,” For what reasons could they say no to us? “,” What unique products can we offer? “. Obviously, there are many other questions, but they are never stereotyped, never the same.

For complex projects, an overview ability is needed to understand all relationship systems.

grasping the meaning of a macro-project, understanding when it’s time to have a meeting, identifying what critical information are needed (Info-Gap) and examining negotiation’s micro-details are all part of the overview skills.

Micro-analysis skills are equally essential (e.g. understanding how a phone call, a meeting, a handshake, a glance or a gesture is managed). After that, we can focus again on macro-details and, when needed, rethink an entire strategy.

In other words, business successes depend not only on great strategies, but also on the ability to achieve results in every single sale and become proficient in every single conversation that is part of the sales line.

The sales’ action line, as well as the action line of negotiations, require specific sensitivity: we must be sensitive to “holistic” communication, where every action, behaviour, or non-action has a meaning.

We must develop and improve this sensitivity through daily practice, contact after contact, negotiations after negotiations, meeting after meeting, phone call after phone call, etc.

This ability is useful in any situation and can help us understand the place where we must park near the client company, if we must open the door to someone or not, if we must offer a coffee or a gift, etc.

Strategic sales and complex negotiation professionals have a way of working that is also a way of being.

Corporate titans and small businesses must continuously face “moments of truth” in their Business-to-Business negotiations with distributors, suppliers, sales networks, corporate buyers, such as face-to-face meetings, discussions, emails, presentations, answers to questions, etc.

For each of them taking care of their relationship skills and of their personal skills of analysis and communication is essential and can help them develop large projects and important sales.

__________

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behavioural empathy
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emotional empathy
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identifying critical information
sales’ action line

L'articolo An Analyst’s Mind proviene da Dr. Daniele Trevisani - Formazione Aziendale, Ricerca, Coaching.

Companies Look at Each Other Again: The Supremacy of Face-to-Face Communication

trevisani@studiotrevisani.it — Wed, 07 Apr 2021 15:59:25 +0000

__________

Today, I would like to talk about the increasing importance of face-to face communication and the supremacy of the human factor in negotiations, that force us to analyse our interlocutor’s mental framework and to create helping and winning relationships with our clients.

The mental approach of professional communicators and negotiators is completely focused on the objectives that must be achieved through the evaluation of the interlocutors’ mental framework.

Nobody can talk to a wall. Professional communicators, salespeople and negotiators talk “with” someone, they have to deal or negotiate “with” someone. They must understand how the other person thinks.

As an expert in Senior Sales Coaching, Antonio Greci, argues:

Strategic Selling is a way of being.
Strategic Selling is not a procedure.
Strategic Selling professionals can be recognized by the fact that they listen deeply.
The main talent of those who practice Strategic Selling is to be naturally empathetic.

The presence of “other people” therefore forces us to become analysts and to understand:

if we are dealing with a person or company who has a strong propensity to plan or not;
if our interlocutor is looking for a quick and immediate remedy, moved by urgencies, or if he/she is in no hurry;
if we are dealing with materialistic or narrow-minded people or with deeply humane people;
if we are working with someone looking for a pure personal advantage or with someone who’s looking for his/her company advantage, or a mix of both;
which benefits our counterpart seeks for himself/herself and which benefits he/she seeks for his/her company.

It is equally essential to understand if there is only the possibility to sell a single product or if – on the contrary – we will be able to create the conditions to become a continuous and trusted supplier, the multi-year partner of a customer with whom we are going to create long-term projects.

Some clients act instinctively, even irrationally, other clients think with cold logic.

Concerning all these variables, we cannot take the buyer’s psychology for granted. Each buyer possesses a psychological profile to frame.

In fact, we can deal with non-planning-oriented people, whose time perspective is limited to the day after, or with long-term oriented people, who work not only for themselves, but also for those who will follow them in the company and in life.

The former do not ask themselves what the long-term consequences of their choices will be. The latter do.

Negotiation can be considered as a meeting with human variety.

We need to get into the right mindset to deal with any kind of mentality, to meet any kind of attitude, culture and values. Otherwise, we would be able to negotiate only with a certain type of customers and not with others. This concept of “communicational stretching” helps us being effective with different types of customers. Here lies the flexibility of professional communicators and negotiators.

A gear manufacturer who wants to sell products to a machine manufacturer certainly cannot think of resorting to television advertising in prime time, “aiming” at 10 million viewers, hoping to find among them 3 or 4 important decision makers, like purchasing managers and executives of that company. 

Every business can take two main paths:  

advertising communications, which is often expensive, conformed and based on enormous budgets. It is the result of a mirage made of useless senseless sparkles; and

– especially in Business to Business – the choice to train as professionals in the field of interpersonal negotiations and human meetings, made of real people.

For most companies and organizations, it makes no sense to invest in a large-scale advertising. We need to learn how to get the attention of decision makers. A more focused approach is needed. 

Advertising is not useless, it is a tool used in very specific cases, but it should not be confused with communication in a broad sense. They are two legs with which companies run: the leg of advertising is often beautiful and massaged, while the leg of human communication and negotiation is usually amputated. 

We are surrounded and pestered by advertisements, by messaging technologies, to the point of nausea. We have been filled with lies and empty promises, and we do not trust anything and anyone anymore, but we have good reason to be tired. 

For this reason, the importance of the human factor and the human encounter started growing again: looking into each other’s eyes, wanting to understand who we are dealing with, has become essential to build projects that really matter.

The business of the future is the result of projects that companies carry out together with other companies, through people in flesh and blood. This is the return of human supremacy.

Working in partnership with customers is a challenge. It means building tailor-made projects for customers from the beginning, having the ability to offer uniqueness, specific advice, quality and, above all, “added relational value” that makes the difference between us and others.

The world of face-to-face business human meetings is more “real” than advertising and much more frequent for small, medium and large companies. Since it is a daily occurrence, it is essential for companies to train on this topic.

The fate of projects destined to change entire companies and the future of their staff and families is decided by the skills of a few people in a few hours of negotiation.

There, on the “stage” of sales and negotiations, the fate of companies is at stake, but, whatever happens, we want to remain on this “stage”.

__________

For further information see:

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L'articolo Companies Look at Each Other Again: The Supremacy of Face-to-Face Communication proviene da Dr. Daniele Trevisani - Formazione Aziendale, Ricerca, Coaching.

The Get-Ready Mindset: The Mental Approach of Professionals

trevisani@studiotrevisani.it — Tue, 30 Mar 2021 17:02:02 +0000

__________

In the following article I would like to introduce the concept of the “Get-Ready Mindset”, explaining the importance of an adequate preparation both on self-analysis and on the analysis of other people’s way of thinking and behaviours.

It is not easy explaining in a few words what the Get-Ready Mindset is, but I will try to do so by using a metaphor: it is the preparation work that boxers, karateka, or kickboxers do before facing an important match.

This preparation consists of studying the opponent’s moves, analysing the videos of his/her fights and any possible material concerning him/her, such as what fighting styles he/she may know, his/her masters, his/her preferences, his/her previous defeats , who defeated him/her and how, what are his/her winning strokes, with whom he/she trains, etc.. It includes studying his/her resume, his/her history and the way he/she moves, searching for his/her strengths and weaknesses.

After having analysed the “other”, it’s time to analyse ourselves:

what are my strengths?
What can I do to improve myself?
Is improving a certain aspect of myself useful or useless?
On what specific development should I focus for that meeting? And how do I convert all this into a training plan?

We then proceed with building specific combat strategies and techniques. We create a road map, test the progresses made and the state of preparation on the ring with sparring partners.

This training is related both to fundamental skills (strength, endurance, speed) and to specific techniques. No detail must be overlooked.

This preparation combines strategy with hard daily gym training, made up of sweat and fatigue, so as to automate the techniques that are going to be used in the match. The best schools do not disregard athletes’ mental training, but they work on focusing and relaxation techniques and on the search for the most profitable mental state, which keeps away the “background mental noises” allowing athletes to be at their best.

In fact, in every meeting, as I have been able to highlight in the intercultural negotiation field, it is important to know how to keep the background mental noises out of the arena, the retro-thoughts that can weaken us, making us lose tactical clarity of mind and situational awareness (Mental Noise Theory).

In companies, as well as in sports, one must not rely on destiny or on the hope of being lucky, but on preparation, because that is the only way to strengthen ourselves, to rise to the challenge and to be able to face it.

And again, a lot of sparring, simulation and training activities must be combined with the indispensable courage that facing challenges that can be lost takes.

Sales and negotiation in complex environments require specific trainable skills: strategic analysis and communication psychology. In other words, high-level skills. Nothing that can be stereotyped or memorized.

Just as the fighter prepares himself/herself in the gym, the negotiator can prepare himself/herself through role-playing and simulations. Just as the fighter analyses his/her opponent, mapping his/her strengths and weaknesses, companies can do the same to be ready for strategic meetings.

We will explore each of these topics in detail. Effective preparation for strategic sales and complex negotiations concerns some very important points:

The inner will to adopt a consultative approach, with all its consequences: consultancy behaviours, an analytic attitude and a strong psychological and communicational training that can support one’s methods and actions;

the self-knowledge: the knowledge of one’s strengths and weaknesses, combined with the full awareness of the value mix that a person, or a company, can create for customers or stakeholders, with whom they must deal;

the knowledge of “others”: their vulnerabilities, their decision-making mechanisms, their balances and imbalances, their dissonances, the problems that can create a state of need or necessity in them, the drives and tensions capable of triggering them to purchase, while bringing us to the positive closing of a negotiation;

the spaces, options and ways of relating that lead to success, the traps that can cause our failure, the pitfalls, the lines of action and the sense of the “journey”, that must be undertaken to reach the goal by building the right path, step by step.

__________

For further information see:

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awareness of one’s role in negotiation
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L'articolo The Get-Ready Mindset: The Mental Approach of Professionals proviene da Dr. Daniele Trevisani - Formazione Aziendale, Ricerca, Coaching.

Intercultural Leadership

trevisani@studiotrevisani.it — Fri, 26 Mar 2021 12:05:14 +0000

Article written by Ginevra Bighini, www.interculturalnegotiation.wordpress.com; mentoring by Dr. Daniele Trevisani, www.studiotrevisani.com

__________

Today’s article will focus on intercultural leadership. Starting from the definition of the term, we will then proceed with listing and describing the problems that may arise in an intercultural team and the skills that every leader must possess if he/she wants to work in a cross-cultural environment.

First of all, I would like to use the definition from the website 3blmedia.com to explain the differences between cross-cultural leadership, multicultural leadership and intercultural leadership:

“Cross-cultural, multicultural, intercultural…these terms are often used interchangeably yet have finely nuanced distinctions. For a leader, the cross-cultural context means literally crossing cultures to do business, provide service, or vacation in another culture. Multicultural refers to multiple cultures existing in a geographic place or organization, each separate and distinct. Intercultural refers to the act of understanding the values and beliefs of a culture and being able to communicate and collaborate with people across multiple cultures. Interculturalism has as its goal innovation, inclusion, and friendship. Intercultural ism implies interaction.” (1)

let’s now continue with Wikipedia’s explanation of intercultural leadership:

“Intercultural leadership has been developed to understand leaders who work in the newly globalized market. Today’s international organizations require leaders who can adjust to different environments quickly and work with partners and employees of other cultures”. (2)

In other words, an intercultural leader must be able to:

manage people from different cultures with cultural respect and an understanding attitude;
achieve a common goal with his/her multicultural team.

Obviously, the problems that may arise in these cross-cultural contexts are numerous, for example:

intercultural differences in verbal and non-verbal communication;
communicative difficulties in the decision-making process, due to different cultural preferences for length of turns, pauses between turns, simultaneous talk, or discrete turns;
poor group cohesion;
etc.

Possible intercultural leadership challenges can be related to:

different cultural view of leaders’ behaviours: cultures accept different leadership behaviours and have different opinions about what can be considered appropriate and inappropriate.
Power paradox arousal: one part of the team questions the legitimacy and authority of the leader based on his leadership style.
Different culturally-based leadership expectations: members of multicultural team hold different culturally-based leadership expectations and prefer different leadership styles.
Team members’ culturally different reactions to leadership: team members from different cultures react differently towards the leader, based on the leader’s leadership style and on how a leader approaches them as team members. (3)

To overcome all this, intercultural communication skills are needed.

In fact, Intercultural management is more than just communicating, working and leading people across cultures. It is about interacting in a conscious and mindful way and it involves:

the readiness to recognize our own cultural conditionings and to discover how we came to believe and see things the way we do. This helps us to realize and accept that our own way to see and judge things is just one among many;
learning about the other person’s culture, including history, economy, political situation and all those aspects that help us understand the underlying reasons for someone’s behaviour, beyond our personal assumptions and values. This can provide a totally new perspective on a person or situation;
the ability to reflect on how our behaviour may be perceived, interpreted and judged by someone from a different culture, as well as the maturity to recognize how we may be unintentionally contributing to a problem (and how we can contribute to solving it);
the ability to adapt our behaviour in order to find a common ground with the people we work with, valuing cultural differences and co-creating new and better ways to do things. (4)

To conclude, in order to become global leaders, we cannot just learn how to manage a team or how to be charismatic, because that’s not sufficient. We are all living in a new globalized world, where everyone is forced to interact with many culturally different people, people with different opinions, values and beliefs, people that possess a different world view. All these people must work together to achieve greater results and only an intercultural leader, not a common manager, can help them do that.

Article written by Ginevra Bighini, www.interculturalnegotiation.wordpress.com; mentoring by Dr. Daniele Trevisani, www.studiotrevisani.com

__________

(1) https://www.3blmedia.com/News/Challenges-Intercultural-Leadership

(2) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-cultural_leadership

(3) https://edepot.wur.nl/496325

(4) https://www.cuoaspace.it/2018/02/why-developing-intercultural-management-skills-is-essential-in-todays-complex-world.html

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cultural systems
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different cultural context
direct line of communication
disagreements
Effective intercultural negotiation techniques
face-to-face communication
front-line communication
high-context cultures
How cultural differences affect negotiations?
How does culture influence negotiation?
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know-how
low-context cultures
misunderstandings
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negotiator’s emotional awareness
negotiator’s growth
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transparent communication
What are the 5 stages of negotiation?
What is effective intercultural negotiation?
What is intercultural negotiation?
working on attitudes
working on skills
World’s most famous expert in intercultural communication
World’s most famous expert in intercultural negotiation
Intercultural Leadership
Cross-cultural Leadership
Multicultural Leadership
intercultural differences in verbal and non-verbal communication
communicative difficulties in the decision-making process
poor group cohesion
different cultural view of leaders’ behaviours
Power paradox arousal
Different culturally-based leadership expectations
Team members’ culturally different reactions to leadership

L'articolo Intercultural Leadership proviene da Dr. Daniele Trevisani - Formazione Aziendale, Ricerca, Coaching.

Preparing for Negotiations like Professionals

trevisani@studiotrevisani.it — Wed, 24 Mar 2021 11:39:35 +0000

__________

In the following article we are going to introduce the importance of negotiation preparation, focusing on professional training.

In the business field there is a lot of confusion about what training is. Some people think that it is possible to prepare negotiators and salespeople through a couple of hours of theoretical lessons based on abstract theories and concepts, relying on university professors who have never sold anything in their life.

Others rely on people who make them walk on fire, telling them that this will lead them to dominate the universe, with the practical effect of burning their feet, or drag them into sales meetings where they will have to sing and dance like poor delusional morons.

Others rely on renowned consulting firms to carry out their assignments, hoping to solve the problem (since they have got trained negotiators and salesmen) by turning to alleged Gurus who show sparkling slides, effective phrases, authors with exotic and famous names. Useful, but insufficient.

Others focus on the “do-it-yourself” method, making young people flank with senior sellers, without filters, with the practical effect of propagating and disseminating all their mistakes for generations and generations.

A strong “awareness” is more needed, than a classic training, something that goes beyond stereotyped rules, for example:

learning to observe how we react to other people’s communications and how our internal dialogue works;
understanding how to examine a conversation and grasp its strategic moves;
preparing to be an analyst.

Serious training is a very strong form of learning. It starts with a self-analysis that no PowerPoint can replace, and allows us to come to terms with who we really are.

Unlike those seminars held by “training shops”, a good deep coaching (personal coaching or team coaching) can help the person and the team to pay attention to what previously eluded them, and this has nothing to do with a classic training.

We need to help people to act like professionals, to “think” like professionals. The search for Human Potential, hidden in every person, is neither easy nor immediate, and we all know it very well. But, sometimes, we look for shortcuts that do not exist.

There are many situations in which communication changes things.

We can have a job interview, that can represent a turning point in life, where we have to show who we are and prove what we are worth.

The effects of every word and every gesture will be decisive.

Effective communication can also solve the problem of finding a financier for a project, or make a dream come true.

Many situations, one common denominator: the result of communication and negotiation activities changes life. Facing this intriguing world requires the examination of many variables. But let’s first look for a common trait and reflect on the few certainties we have.

A first basic awareness is the need for great seriousness in those who work in the world of communication and complex negotiation: being aware of the fact that professional changes – changing-life effects – depend on the results of strategic negotiations.

If negotiations are well managed, they can lay the foundations for a better future. On the contrary, if they are badly managed, they can cause enormous damage.

A second certainty is related to the fact that a specific training is needed to communicate well. As a matter of fact, negotiations require a mental preparation: we must use all our mental resources, managing negotiations as professional and strategic activities (mental approach of the Get-Ready Mind Set), without neglecting any detail.

A third certainty is linked to the need of taking care of the seller’s (negotiator or communicator) “machine”, even before worrying about its external performance. A person who’s feeling well, full of physical and mental energies, will have an excellent chance of expressing his/her communicative potential as well. Conversely, a physically debilitated or exhausted person, who’s also psychologically tired or feels out of place, will only make continual mistakes.

As an important Italian psychologist and advisor, coach of the Italian national freediving team and freediving world champion, points out: “when you “immerse yourself” in relationships and negotiations you come into contact with yourself and your own subconscious, as a free diver does.

Reasonable or unreasonable fears, conscious or subconscious anxieties or inconsistencies may emerge.

If they block us, slow us down, we will suffer many negative effects.

On the contrary, a person who keeps working deeply on himself/herself can “dive” safely both in water and in the most difficult negotiation, keeping his/her composure, despite the difficult environment, without losing his/her emotional awareness.

__________

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L'articolo Preparing for Negotiations like Professionals proviene da Dr. Daniele Trevisani - Formazione Aziendale, Ricerca, Coaching.

Communication, Sales Consulting and Complex Negotiations

trevisani@studiotrevisani.it — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 11:54:05 +0000

__________

Communication and negotiation are very delicate areas of human existence. Successes and failures, victories and falls, as well as the possibility of making dreams and ideals come true, depend on communication skills and that’s why the following articles will revolve around the tools for building our future: communication, strategic selling and complex negotiations.

Our desires, our human and professional aspirations – the ideas we would like to realize – our own life projects, etc. are all linked to this often-unexpressed ability to communicate, a latent skill, a flower to be made bloom. A skill that we rarely cultivate and study.

It represents one of the most precious power of human nature: being able to express and share feelings, ideas, thoughts, visions, dreams, projects.

Here below I would like to make a few examples related to the vital importance of communication skills:

a diplomat or an officer have the lives of thousands of people on their shoulders when negotiating peace; peace and war have always been linked to misunderstandings, lack of communication, negotiation successes or failures;
when an executive negotiates a decisive sale, he/she builds the company’s future; in fact, it also influences the future of the families of those who work in the company. His every move, his every action will have a consequence.

The vital importance of these skills is not a metaphor, it is something tangible, real. We bumped into it in every job interview, where we were more or less good at presenting our strengths, more or less good at understanding who or what others were looking for, and why.

The negotiation work is certainly not limited to the business level.

The importance of communication skills can also alter (for better or for worse) the course of one’s love life; it can bring us closer to the people we love, or create distance, it can generate understanding or misunderstanding, passion or sadness, joy or pain.

On one hand, good communication can give life to friendships and relationships that last a lifetime, but, on the other hand, bad communication determines the malfunction or irreparable breakdown of human and professional relationships.

For every human being, the ability to communicate emotions, to open up to others, without letting these emotions being suffocated in an inner mental rumination, is a main factor of physical and mental health.

Communication skills can even determine life and death, such as in military negotiations or for hostages’ release operations.

In the business field, the abilities to analyse, present and listen are the core of every sales and partnership project and the heart of every complex negotiation.

In this context, details also matter, for example:

understanding who the real decision makers are, can change the life of a company; it may or may not let you win a competition, a tender, or the heart of a key customer;
a typing error in an offer’s crucial point can produce a sense of carelessness and raise evaluation barriers, making the sale more difficult; but again…
being distracted in the listening phase can make us lose important “signals” expressed by the interlocutor;
catching or not catching a glance or a facial expression of approval or disapproval is also crucial.

Concerning negotiations and human relationships, It is an exceptional achievement to understand each other, break the barriers of incommunicability, find ways to achieve cooperative success, and grow together.

In fact, communicators, professional negotiators, salespeople, represent an active part of society and “put many things into motion”. Without them, companies cannot live.

A company, where there is no one capable of selling, is a company on the edge of the abyss. All salaries come from a single source: sales.

We must therefore prepare ourselves: the key is to develop our communication skills and support others’ growth.

Communication skills must become a real asset (strategic resource) and not a weakness to be covered by discounts, rebates, humiliations, concessions and losses.

This is why we must act with a fighting and strategic spirit, with a ready and resolute mind – an analyst’s mind – and “legs” ready to meet people everywhere.

An ancient phrase, expressed by a Japanese Samurai, offers us a beautiful representation, which explains this attitude in a few words:

Kenshin said: “Fate is in heaven, the armour is on the chest, the result is in the feet” (from the work “Cleary, Thomas. The Mind of the Samurai” by Adachi Masahiro, written from 1780 to 1800)

The words of Samurai Masahiro help us understand that there are many areas of life that we cannot dominate, and others that are in our hands and that we must manage both personally and as a team.

Kenshin’s “paradise” refers to global scenarios, for example the choices of the competitors, our armour is our preparation, our feet are the actions we choose to adopt.

To conclude, we must absorb the fighting spirit proposed by Masahiro and adapt it to our purposes and our profession.

There is no doubt that operating in sales today means having courage.

The courage of someone who goes out with a suitcase to win over a customer.

The courage of those who face the world, of those who enter different cultures, new and unknown companies, of those who fight against stronger, more funded or powerful competitors, the courage of those who move on the front line.

And even greater courage is needed to direct people, standing beside those men and women who work in the front line, especially in times of difficulty and greater need.

This is leadership. This is a way of life.

Negotiation is certainly a difficult game, but not a gamble. Serious negotiation never aims to produce free damage to the counterpart, but it is based on building “helping relationships”, that create value for all, and “winning relationships“, that benefit both parties.

This also applies to marriage, where two people succeed in setting their own spaces of freedom for personal interests (sports, culture, gardening, travel, etc.), without letting marriage become a cage, but rather a springboard that can give power to both.

This also applies to companies, when, thanks to a good negotiation, a project emerges, that no one, alone, would have been able to create.

No result, however, is achieved by magic. We need negotiation activities and painstaking work to clarify roles, and roles boundaries. Relationships must be cultivated if we want to reap the fruit of our labour.

In our everyday life we can negotiate consciously or unconsciously: for example, deciding which film to watch with friends can be considered a negotiation. In projects between companies, negotiation takes on an amplified, enormous importance, and can last for months. Months during which we must never loose our focus on the result.

These needs require adequate training.

Communication starts from a main need: the need to enter a relationship, to get in contact with someone or something, and – for those who work with negotiation on a professional level – preparing as professionals is the least that can be done.

We have been negotiating since we were born, and we will do so for our entire life.

__________

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L'articolo Communication, Sales Consulting and Complex Negotiations proviene da Dr. Daniele Trevisani - Formazione Aziendale, Ricerca, Coaching.

Emotion Management in Intercultural Negotiation (Part 2)

trevisani@studiotrevisani.it — Wed, 17 Mar 2021 11:49:06 +0000

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale. Comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or any other language, or seek Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching, Mentoring and Consulting, please feel free to contact the Website on Intercultural Negotiation

__________

Let’s continue talking about emotion management, this time by focusing on emotional dragging and on those techniques used to reduce emotional stress in negotiations.

The Risk of Emotional Dragging during Negotiations

By emotional dragging we mean a situation in which an emotion, apparently well managed and removed, reappears in other forms in subsequent moments and negatively affects the outcome of a negotiation.

This can happen (1) within the same negotiation session, affecting subjects other than those who have generated a negative emotional impact, but also (2) between different sessions, carrying those negative states from one meeting to another.

Intra-Session Dragging

The intra-session dragging occurs more frequently than it is thought on a conscious level. A classic case is that of withheld anger towards one of the interlocutors, which is then projected towards another interlocutor present, in a modified, attenuated or strengthened form. Let’s look at the following case, an uncensored original transcript about the emotional experience of a negotiation meeting:

We had been at the table for about twenty minutes and we had just gotten to the heart of the matter. After various pleasantries (chat about the weather, about the coffee from the machine, etc.) we began to discuss the merits and here he comes, he sat down, he remained silent for a little bit, but then he started talking about atomic bullshits. I asked if I could have the pleasure of knowing his role in the project, and he said that he had a role in all projects, and he always wanted to see who entered and left his company. Concerning the project, he said that he had nothing to do with it, but he was supervising it a little. Basically, he came to say that he “kept his boys at bay”, so that they did not mess things up badly. I’ll put it another way: he had come to mark his territory like a dog pissing on trees to say that that tree belonged to him. Practically, he entered the meeting and pissed on those present, on his collaborators and on outsiders, me included, to make clear that this was his territory. I had just entered, I didn’t know anyone, I was an outsider, and at first, I was disappointed. Then I thought that I had already seen a lot of assholes like these around the companies, and I shouldn’t get too caught up, I had to go straight on my way, which was to bring home the signed contract and nothing more. if I had met him on the street, I would have hit him with the car, but not there, otherwise I would have ruined everything.

I kept letting him piss on my head for a while, but then, at some point, I contradicted him not in a strong way, but vaguely, just to make him understand that I was an expert and that he could not say whatever he wanted about certain topics without knowing a shit. However, it is a fact that he entered and left the meeting, doing what he wanted, answering his cell phone, calling people during the meeting and working there, in short, he wanted to look cool, perhaps to show that, there, he could do everything. After a while he went out and did not come back. At that moment I thought “he is dead, he is gone, finally, he will never come back”. At the end of the meeting, he was not there yet. We tried to sum up what was said during the day and I said something like this: “yes, we can certainly carry out a good project, the important thing is to keep the cheap company policy out of it. I am a kind of person that is not afraid of saying if there is a problem and does not pretend that nothing has happened just because it is uncomfortable to let it out”. Let’s take one thing into account: I was in the worst place on planet to say something like that. I should have pulled it out after being their supplier, after finding some ally, not there, at the first meeting. And now I realize that, as I was telling them that, I was squinting, looking like Clint Eastwood ready to shoot someone. Now I’m aware that I still had a lot of anger inside me, letting that asshole piss on me had bothered me, and I was throwing this anger back on others, on his collaborators. Then I can tell you that, even during the evening, at home, I was irritated, I had a hard time falling asleep, I couldn’t bear the idea that an ignorant recommended asshole had pissed on my head like that.

Dragging between Sessions

The dragging between sessions is caused by negative experiences related to previous relationships with the same subject or with the same category of subjects. We may have had unpleasant experiences with some people of a specific category and associate these experiences to the entire category, entering the negotiation with a wrong disposition.

Already formed stereotypes must be used with caution. Above all, it is essential to learn how to clean one’s own mind from negative attitudes resulting from previous sessions, so as to enter the negotiation with a free and open mind.

Dragging between Emotional States of Personal Life and Professional Situations

Personal life inevitably generates emotional experiences.

Relationships with friends, family, relatives, as well as events experienced outside the work environment invariably have an impact on the person. Some individuals are good at masking what happens in their personal life (especially negative experiences), but disguising may not be the best strategy.

The most advanced techniques on a professional level provide – for those in need of a pressing negotiation and for those who negotiate at a high level – for the use of professional counselling and coaching tools, that can support the subject in elaborating the facts of personal and professional life, harmoniously integrating personal experience and managerial life.

We cannot pretend that a manager, who has just experienced a family or professional trauma, can go to work as nothing has happened and be equally productive. Illnesses, marriage problems, difficulties with children, etc., reduce concentration and the available mental energy.

At the same time, on the opposite level, it is possible to learn to feed on the positive emotions that private life can offer and absorb these energies to nourish the professional level.

It can be said that one of the most underestimated issues of today concerning management is the energetic and motivational condition of the subject; managers, as well as collaborators must be seen as “holistic beings” who live both a psychological and physical life.

Intercultural negotiation can create emotional turbulence and high emotional distress. Negotiation itself (intracultural negotiation too) is a phenomenon that has a deep impact on the person’s energy systems. The addition of the strong intercultural variable increases the cognitive cost of attention and processing, the likelihood of misunderstanding, break and repair.

It is therefore on the energy level that managers must be helped to find and maintain a high, positive condition, capable of providing them with the necessary support for intercultural negotiation challenges.

Techniques to Manage and Reduce Emotional Stress in Negotiation

Several strategies are used in the ALM method to manage emotional stress in negotiations.

Autogenic and meditative training techniques (passive techniques) and other relaxation techniques (physical dissipation, sports, active techniques) are extremely useful for generating a good emotional predisposition in the negotiator, especially if practiced the same day, before the negotiation session.

In the immediate future, the separation between personal emotional experiences and professional time can be helped by specific relaxation techniques, while at advanced levels and in the long term, turning to professional coaching and managerial counselling can be more productive, because they help managers learn to focus both on lifestyle elements (lifestyle training) and on emotional management techniques.

Usable techniques are:

conceptual preparation and desk-work strategies: cultural analysis, latent cultural objections analysis, objections management preparation;
experiential preparation strategies: situational role playing used to refine and activate motor and conversational patterns, to create readiness in conversational moves and to create self-confidence;
emotional preparation and emotional reorganization strategies: relaxation techniques, autogenic training, focusing and meditation;
physical techniques of bio-energetic recharge: doing physical work to remove stress through specific physical exercise;
disidentification techniques, such as those proposed by Assoagioli in Psychosynthesis, which can help individuals to distance themselves emotionally from their current experience, as if it were something happening to others, that cannot affect them;
cognitive restructuring techniques: for example, moving from the concept of “negotiation as a confrontation” to “negotiation as a helping relationship” (helping the other party to understand something or to achieve a goal);
post-negotiation debriefing techniques, that help individuals dissolve negotiation stress, rework it and use it to grow rather than letting it block them, forcing them being conceptually and emotionally committed or making them feel inadequate to face new goals and challenges.

__________

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Emotion Management in Intercultural Negotiation
Mental Noise Theory
traumas caused by previous experiences
priorities
emotional excess
poor sense of self-efficacy
poor sense of assertiveness
Emotional predispositions awareness
emotional repression
power management
communication ecology
emotional leadership
emotional activation
Communication Apprehension
ethnocentrism
intercultural willingness to communicate
win-win models
relationship breakdown
behavioural micro-details
emotions recognition
emotional dragging
Intra-Session Dragging
withheld anger
Dragging between Sessions
Dragging between Emotional States of Personal Life and Professional Situations
Techniques to Manage and Reduce Emotional Stress in Negotiation
passive techniques
active techniques
conceptual preparation and desk-work strategies
experiential preparation strategies
situational role playing
emotional preparation and emotional reorganization strategies
physical techniques of bio-energetic recharge
disidentification techniques
cognitive restructuring techniques
post-negotiation debriefing techniques

L'articolo Emotion Management in Intercultural Negotiation (Part 2) proviene da Dr. Daniele Trevisani - Formazione Aziendale, Ricerca, Coaching.

Emotion Management in Intercultural Negotiation (Part 1)

trevisani@studiotrevisani.it — Mon, 15 Mar 2021 12:29:21 +0000

__________

In the following 2 articles we are going to talk about emotion management in intercultural negotiation, because beign able to not lose control over one’s own emotions means beign able to negotiate smoothly.

The Mental Noise Theory

The Mental Noise Theory highlights that people who are irritated or who experience negative emotions have greater difficulties in listening and processing information.

“Mental noise” can reduce by 80% the ability to understand and process communication.

Among the reasons that lead to a reduction, up to 20%, in communication efficiency, there are:

traumas caused by previous experiences;
competing agendas (priorities);
emotional excess (activation excess);
poor sense of self-efficacy and assertiveness.

The Awareness of One’s Own Emotional Predispositions

According to Schein, to negotiate or work positively, it is necessary to identify one’s emotional predisposition.

Schein highlights this dynamic within the consultancy process (consultant-client relationship) but it can also be extended to all dynamics of power management within groups, as in the case of negotiations:

If, due to my nature, I’m predisposed to respond to certain types of facts with certain types of emotional reaction, I must be aware of this predisposition to judge the degree of its suitability in specific situations. For example, if I tend to get defensive and angry every time a customer stands up to me or tells me I’m wrong, I have to recognize the existence of this tendency and learn to control myself or manage my emotions in the best possible way, especially if, in my judgment, a dispute with the client would not be productive for the purposes of the consulting process. However, it is not always wrong to be defensive or angry. Sometimes it is indeed the most adequate reaction, but in order to choose and decide the best way to deal with the situation it is necessary to know one’s predispositions…

As it is evident, the direction given by Schein is not that of absolute emotional repression, but of conscious management.

Communication Ecology and Emotional Leadership

The ecology of communication represents a complex sensory stimulus (meant as a set of visual, verbal, tactile, olfactory, gustatory, kinesthetic inputs). Each element that reaches the perceptive system of the subject can generate emotions (strong or weak, central or peripheral).

All sensory stimuli activated during the participation in a negotiation, can therefore activate emotions.

We constantly live inside specific emotional areas or emotional experiences, jumping from an emotion to another, sometimes quickly, other times slowly.

Negotiation meetings and negotiation activities are moments of strong emotional activation, because certain factors are involved, such as our personal interests, the interests of the role we represent, the company’s interests, but also our own “face” and image, towards ourselves (self-esteem) and towards others.

The negotiation outcome – positive or negative – can affect one’s personal history, self-confidence, sense of self-efficacy.

These emotional factors are generally amplified in intercultural negotiation, in which further dimensions can come into play, such as:

Communication Apprehension (or communication anxiety) amplified by intercultural encounters;
ethnocentrism, the consideration that one’s own culture is superior and the difficulty of accepting opinions from different cultures;
the IWTC (intercultural willingness to communicate), meant as a general attitude or predisposition (positive or negative) towards the idea of meeting people from different cultures.

Due to various phenomena, it becomes difficult to put into practice a conscious, rational management of emotions, that can help them emerge from our subconscious and unconscious, in order to be able to “deal with them”, reacting appropriately.

The Relationship between Emotions, Intercultural Communication and Teamwork Performance

How important are emotions in affecting performance? In the ALM method, it is strongly highlighted that the emotional experience of a group is one of the most important factors for obtaining lasting and effective performances.

Even a temporary group, made up of people who negotiate for a limited time, becomes a team for that period of time, a grouping of people who try to achieve results, each for themselves (in the most backward models) or with high mutual satisfaction, in more advanced win-win models.

The importance of emotional experiences in intercultural groups is also highlighted in the most extreme settings, such as in spatial multicultural crews. Space mission planning and management changes dramatically when teams are made up of people from different countries and cultures.

Although united by a passion and by a profession, the different experiences and acculturation backgrounds can lead team-members to collide in confined environments, as soon as these differences begin to come out.

Several studies examine the problem, to better understand the influence and management of cultural differences between crew members and technical-scientific teams who will work and live in space in the future. These studies therefore refer to the research on intercultural effectiveness on Earth; they also deal with how to improve selection/evaluation procedures, intercultural training, monitoring and support, and astronauts’ experiences debriefing.

If we look at the intercultural dynamics in progress, being locked up in a room to “make a negotiation work” is not very different from being locked up in a spaceship with the task of making it work.

During manoeuvres (physical or conversational), a multiplicity of emotional experiences may emerge (anger, disappointment, or even simple annoyance) which, after stratifying, can lead to a relationship breakdown and to operations malfunctions.

It’s not just about big choices, but sometimes it’s about behavioural micro-details, simple gestures. Small secondary elements that do not create disturbances within a culture, but can be unpleasant when judged by a different culture.

Recognizing emotions is therefore essential for the negotiation performance.

__________

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Emotion Management in Intercultural Negotiation
Mental Noise Theory
traumas caused by previous experiences
priorities
emotional excess
poor sense of self-efficacy
poor sense of assertiveness
Emotional predispositions awareness
emotional repression
power management
communication ecology
emotional leadership
emotional activation
Communication Apprehension
ethnocentrism
intercultural willingness to communicate
The Relationship between Emotions, Intercultural Communication and Teamwork Performance
win-win models
relationship breakdown
behavioural micro-details
emotions recognition

L'articolo Emotion Management in Intercultural Negotiation (Part 1) proviene da Dr. Daniele Trevisani - Formazione Aziendale, Ricerca, Coaching.

Status and Status Anxiety (Part 2)

trevisani@studiotrevisani.it — Wed, 10 Mar 2021 11:40:39 +0000

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or any other language, or seek Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching, Mentoring and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com

__________

Let’s conclude the topics of status and status anxiety, at first explaining how the negotiator can gain power and bargaining strenght during a negotiation and secondly, how status anxiety can arise in contracts negotiations.

Knowing how to deal with new people and companies, that often have large dimensions and a high economic and political power, means knowing how to propose one’s own value as a partner (sale of the global image of the company, rather than the simple sale of a product) and this represents something totally new for many companies, a difficult horizon.

Especially for SMEs, it is difficult to negotiate on an intercultural level. In fact, in the past they were used to relationships with fragmented and divided distribution networks, to individual customer, which were not very valuable, to scarce or weak competition, in which the leverage was mainly on the part of the producer, etc. For all these reasons these companies have serious difficulties in moving from sale to negotiation. Companies, moreover, got used to selling abroad through foreign agents, while losing a large part of the margin towards distribution, without ever really deal with real intercultural negotiations.

Competitive negotiation requires the creation of bargaining strength. The contractual strength depends on how unique the offer is (or on the lack of valid alternatives or substitutes) and on how much the counterpart needs the product you are selling, everything obviously mediated by communication skills.

Managing negotiations requires preparation and role-playing. A single word can ruin a meeting.

To sum up, in negotiations the competitive advantage depends on the bargaining strength. For the seller or proposer, strength depends on:

the uniqueness of the offer: an offer that cannot be compared to other offers has more value;
the lack of immediate alternatives: the impossibility of finding satisfaction elsewhere, even with reasonable effort;
the lack of goods in substitution (different goods having a similar function, e.g.: train instead of plane);
the urgency of the recipient’s need: a strong need generates less restrain and uncertainties;
the proposer’s prestige: there are fewer barriers related to first glance evaluation of the partner if the proposer possesses prestige and credibility;
the strength of the offer objective factors: performance features, performance technology and its real service;
valorisation and communication abilities: in fact, these leverages cannot be automatically activated, even in the presence of a high degree of power, because activating them requires skills of valorisation and communication;
the best possible use of bargaining strength (for those who make the offer) is positively related to the specific communication skills level of the negotiator (seller’s negotiation skills), while is negatively related to the buyer’s competences (buyer’s skills).

Contract’s negotiations are one of those contexts, in which negotiation conflicts become more evident. Each contract clause can bear cultural meanings, culturally unacceptable positions, attacks on the interlocutor’s face and image.

Legal culture is one of the most rigid culture in any national reality, and those who draw up contracts often takes an uncompromising and disrespectful position towards others’ cultures.

One of the first concerns of intercultural negotiators is therefore not to spoil the result of long and tiring verbal and personal negotiations with written elements (e.g.: documents, correspondence, contracts, etc.).

Let’s look at a real case: we will take into consideration some contract clauses proposed by an English IT company (here called XXX for privacy reasons) to an Eastern European correspondent, and its interpretations and reactions:

Original Text	Perceived meaning and the counterpart’s comments
You may not substitute the IT specialist for another IT specialist without XXX prior written consent	“We send whoever we want to assist other companies. All our technicians are qualified, we have already given them all possible and imaginable guarantees, now they must also approve of our technicians, from time to time, but who do they think they are?”
During the period of this Agreement, you are retained on a non-exclusive ‘when-needed’ basis to perform the Services at such times and at such locations as XXX shall direct from time to time.	“But then we are not their partners, we are only there ‘when needed’. Are we, their servants? They talk about partnerships a lot and then write the opposite”
You shall be responsible for rectification at your own expense of any work which in the reasonable opinion of our company or any of its clients was unsatisfactory	“Are we crazy? And if customers are dissatisfied because there are no spare parts, ‘cause they do not send them to us, what do we do? And then just for an “opinion” made by them or by one of their customers, who’s in a bad mood, we have to redo everything? But what are they thinking?”
XXX will pay for economy class air or train travel	But look at these whore-goers! They are hunting foxes in fifty against a poor beast and now they want to send us around in second class, they will see …

Every legal clause, like every conversational move, can be read as an approaching move, a loosening move, a distancing move or a neutral move, depending on the relational value it assumes and the presuppositions it contains. The highlighted clauses are evidently all received as moves of superiority, acts of force and submission.

The outcome of these clauses, and many other clauses, that are part of the English contract – in the real case – generates the counterpart’s refusal to sign this contract.

No company with a certain reputation in the market could ever agree to sign clauses that compromise its image so heavily.

Yet, the contract was actually drafted by one of the leading London law firms, which is evidently completely ignorant about intercultural and relational values of legal contracts.

One of the basic principles of semiotics is that every “sign” (a clause, a sentence) is not only an external form, but it also takes on a meaning.

There is therefore an intercultural legal semiotics – a relational contract law, a science studying the relational values of contracts – that deals with the contracts relational meaning, avoiding disasters such as those shown in the example.

A correct negotiation must not only protect the proposing party, but it must also safeguard the counterpart in its identity.

__________

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working on attitudes
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World’s most famous expert in intercultural negotiation
Status
Status achievement
Status Anxiety
conquering power
feeling of superiority
climbing to status
defensive counter-moves
re-balancing the situation
superior position
status negotiation
avoidable statements
culture evaluation of status
bargaining strenght
bargaining power
proposing one’s own value as a partner
competitive negotiation
negotiation leverage
offer uniqueness
lack of alternatives
recipient’s need urgency
proposer’s prestige
skills of valorisation and communication
legal culture
contract clauses
contract negotiation
contract interpretation
approaching moves
loosening moves
distancing moves
neutral moves
compromising the company’s image
moves of superiority
acts of force
acts of submission
intercultural legal semiotics
signs bear cultural meanings
protecting the proposing party
safeguarding the counterpart’s identity

L'articolo Status and Status Anxiety (Part 2) proviene da Dr. Daniele Trevisani - Formazione Aziendale, Ricerca, Coaching.

Status and Status Anxiety (Part 1)

trevisani@studiotrevisani.it — Tue, 09 Mar 2021 12:19:43 +0000

__________

Today’s topic is about status, which is difficult to achieve, but even more difficult to maintain. This feeling of uncertainty related to these difficulties in negotiation gives rise to status anxiety, which can negatively affect the outcome of a meeting.

Here are some definitions that Alain De Botton (2004) provides with respect to status anxiety.

Status

– The position of a person in society; the word derives from the supine “statum” of the Latin verb “stare”.

– Strictly speaking, the term refers to the legal or professional position that a person has within a group, for example to his marital status (married) or to his rank (lieutenant). In a broad sense, it indicates the value and importance that this person assumes in the eyes of others: and this is the meaning that interests us most.

– In the transition from one society to another, the categories that possess greater social prestige change … from 1776 until today (vague but indicative term…) status has been increasingly associated with economic success.

– The effects of a high social position are gratifying; we have money, freedom, space, time, comfort, and, last, but not least, the feeling of being loved and esteemed when others invite and flatter us, laugh at our jokes (even those without humor) and show us deference and consideration.

– For many people a high social position represents one of the most coveted assets, even if there are only a few that would be willing to openly confess it.

Status anxiety

– The fear – sometimes so nagging as to compromise entire existential phases – of not corresponding to the models of success proposed by society and, consequently, of losing all dignity and respect; The suffering induced by the fear of occupying a very low rank in the social scale or of being downgraded.

– This anxiety is caused by various factors such as periods of economic recession, redundancy, promotions, retirement, conversations with colleagues in the same sector; but also, by successful people who attract the interest of the press or by friends who have had better luck than us. It is often associated with feelings of envy, even if it is usually not confessed, and can lead to unpleasant social consequences; therefore, the signs of this inner drama are scarcely evident and are generally limited to the thoughtful gaze, the stunted smile and the unwarranted silence with which we welcome news of other people’s successes.

– If the place we occupy in the social ladder makes us feel concerned, it means that the consideration we have of ourselves largely depends on the idea that others have of us. Unlike a few exceptional characters, such as Socrates or Jesus, we need to know that the world respects us to be able to accept ourselves.

– The fact that the status, already difficult to conquer, is even more difficult to maintain over the course of a lifetime is very unfortunate. If we exclude those societies in which status is established at birth – for example for reasons of noble descent – one’s status usually depends on what one manages to achieve in life. Moreover, there are many possible causes of failure, such as the lack of self-knowledge, macroeconomic factors and others’ cruelty.

– Moreover, this failure originates humiliation, a devastating awareness of not being able to convince the world of our worth, which condemns us, on one hand, to consider with bitterness those who are successful, and, on the other hand, to be ashamed of ourselves.

Thesis

– Status anxiety can generate suffering.

– The desire to reach a higher status can have, like all desires, its usefulness: it can lead us to value our talents, to improve ourselves, to avoid extravagant and harmful behaviours and to favour social aggregation based on a common system of values. But, like all desires, if exasperated, it can kill.

– Understanding this anxious condition and talking about it can be the most effective therapeutic approach.

Therefore, we should not be surprised if in a negotiation both sides try to assert their status and suffer from status anxiety. However, we must ask ourselves which mechanisms are useful for negotiation, and which ones are destructive. We must ask ourselves – and know how to recognize – others’ mechanisms of climbing to status and conquering power in negotiation, and the defensive counter-moves. We must consciously avoid making status anxiety predominate and strive to seek a negotiating solution that is useful for both parties.

The main questions of intercultural negotiation are therefore:

Starting from my interlocutor’s culture point of view, what are the avoidable statements that can hit his/her status?
How can I re-balance the situation when my interlocutor puts himself in a superior position?
How can I produce a positive image of myself and my company, without giving the feeling of superiority, consequently unleashing resentments and vengeful mechanisms?
How does my interlocutor’s culture evaluate status; what confers status in that culture?
How much of the negotiation time should you dedicate to negotiate status and how much should you dedicate to evaluate the topics for discussion?
Besides the mutual acquaintance phase, when do status issues arise in the negotiation? While negotiating conditions? While fixing prices or logistics? in legal practices? Or in contract statements?

To be continued…

__________

For further information see:

TAGS:

ALM business method
active training
awareness of one’s role in negotiation
Best coach in intercultural communication in the world
Best coach in intercultural facilitation in the world
Best coach in intercultural negotiation in the world
Best Intercultural communication book
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communication difficulties
communication skills
Communication techniques intercultural communication
Communication techniques intercultural negotiation
communication training
conversational skills
creative strategies
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cross cultural misunderstanding
cross-cultural adaptation
cultural systems
dialogue between companies
different cultural approach
different cultural context
direct line of communication
disagreements
Effective intercultural negotiation techniques
face-to-face communication
front-line communication
high-context cultures
How cultural differences affect negotiations?
How does culture influence negotiation?
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intercultural communication book
Intercultural communication books
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Intercultural Communication Trainers
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Intercultural conversation management techniques
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Intercultural Negotiation Consulting
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Intercultural negotiation exercises
Intercultural Negotiation in International Business
Intercultural Negotiation Mentoring
intercultural negotiation PDF
Intercultural Negotiation Process
Intercultural Negotiation Strategies
Intercultural Negotiation Timing
intercultural negotiation training
intercultural training
Intercultural Training Consultants
know-how
low-context cultures
misunderstandings
negotiating rules
negotiation preparation
negotiator’s emotional awareness
negotiator’s growth
open communication
transparent communication
What are the 5 stages of negotiation?
What is effective intercultural negotiation?
What is intercultural negotiation?
working on attitudes
working on skills
World’s most famous expert in intercultural communication
World’s most famous expert in intercultural negotiation
Status
Status achievement
Status Anxiety
conquering power
feeling of superiority
climbing to status
defensive counter-moves
re-balancing the situation
superior position
status negotiation
avoidable statements
culture evaluation of status

L'articolo Status and Status Anxiety (Part 1) proviene da Dr. Daniele Trevisani - Formazione Aziendale, Ricerca, Coaching.